Just A Man (Chapter 18)

[Rickyrocks]

Hi

This section is for your questions and thoughts about CHAPTER 18 of the JAM online feature.

Each chapter will be divided into its own chapter so as to make it easier to post & talk about each chapter seperately.

Thank You
Rickyrocks

[missingmichael]

I have just read chapter 18, and I must say it was heartbreaking. To have all that hope and promise of being able to be near Tiger and raise her, and then have the rug pulled from under them like that. I can't even comprehend why Bob would not want Tiger to be with her own relatives. "Saint Bob" he is NOT! Tiger should be with her own family, that just makes me so mad that he took custody of her.

Tina and Patricia, my heart goes out to you both even MORE now! I am so sorry that you have been put through all of this.


Pam

[americangirl]

I just finished this chapter also.....wow! I can think of a few reasons ol bob would want Tiger....one, she is and will be $$$ in his pocket, two - he maybe loved Paula so much that he couldnt part with the lil one 3- he dispised/jealous of Michael so much that he is doing it out of spite? I have a hard time relating to the rules of custody in the UK. The US would have seen it completely opposite. I cant even relate to the overflooding of emotions from Tina & Patricia. All you can do is pray and be consistent on trying to keep contact.....that can be so exhausting. Tiger looks so much like her father and have no doubt that she has many of his characteristics and mannerisms.....I know ol' bob see's them. How can he sleep at night (maybe see's $$$$ when he looks at her?) She is a beautiful lil girl....her pictures show that she is full of life, a breath of fresh air!! She is different from her sisters....its very clear and she will want to know her fathers family....ol bob better get ready for that! What i dont get is.....everytime you see a pic of her....her hair is a ungroomed and she is wearing outfits that hardly match. Isnt there a nanny taking care of her or is that just a UK thing???

Anyway, i made it thru the enitre book without crying until i read this chapter. Shame on them for being so selfish and bitter. It will come to bite them in the a** soon enough.

Tanya

[hutch4eva]

I am completely sick to my stomach. It's so unfair. Somehow, maybe Bob feels he's doing what's best for Tiger because she'll be in familiar territory with him. BUT this is Michael's family-her blood. And blood rules in my opinion. My family has gone through cases of the mother was just unfit and strung out and my uncle got the child and raised him. The mother's boyfriend, didn't keep the child. that is unheard of. Unfortunately money rules over love obviously. But the saving grace is...Tiger is growing up and one day she will reach out to Michael's family and want to know about the wonderful man she hears about from her Grandmother and Aunt. I'm sure Bob takes great care of Tiger Lily, but she needs her entire family. There are moments being missed that can never be regain and Geldof had better be careful, because she'll resent him for not allowing her to spend more time with her father's family. I'll include litle Tiger in my prayers. Things turn around when they should. To the Hutchence family-just continue to be the positive light in Tiger's life and she will reach out to you.

Sonya xoxo

[Tina Hutchence]

You know these are all the reasons I came up with too. It is mindboggling to think that he would even want a reminder of Michael around him. But Bob doesn't do anything that is not calculated -I have come to find.

Yes she certainly does have a nanny - she has had a series of nannies. ...and kell told us that Diamond pays for them!

Tiger also resides in a seperate apartment with her nanny and the other girls.

T.

[Jess]

OH MYYYYY!!! I just WISH some big time lawyer that resides in Austrailia ( or where ever he needs to reside to take the case if necessary) would just look at THIS case and take over and fight for justice PRO-BONO!!!!! Its so heartbreaking to see how this court system can shut a blind eye to what is going on!! It makes me sick to think that these people have NO CONSCIENCE at all. One thing for sure is.....they better realise (colin especially) that judgement day will arrive!!! That time cant come soon enough for me! Sorry.had to vent a little. He thinks he's all high and mighty??

[missingmichael]

Tina,
I remember reading about that separate apartment thing in an article recently, and wondering why on earth they would put the girls in a separate apartment, especially Tiger still being so young. What on earth is that man thinking! In any event, I will pray for you and your mom and especially for Tiger that everything turns out all right in the end. Like some of the others said, Tiger will reach a point in her life where she will want to know her father's family better, and she'll resent that Bob did not do what he could to make it easier on you.

Pam

[americangirl]

Bob sees Tiger as an investment. I cant fathom putting my children in another residence with a nanny or anyone for that matter. OK...maybe for about a week so i can get a break but it would worry me to death!!! I have a hard time leaving them in daycare all day!!! lol.....but I would think that the nanny would atleast keep her hair combed....why does that bother me so much??? lol....i just think that your children represent you as a parent.

It seems that bob is also being spiteful and maybe jealous that this lil one is so loved and wanted by family members. He loves to be in control. He cant possibly want that lil girl. If he honestly truly loved her....he woudnt be acting this way. I can see maybe some jealousy in the future with the other sisters....she is going to be a knock out and with a dynamic personality....she doesnt resemble any of them. And in my opinion the only one that comes near a close second would be Pixxy (i know i probably spelled that wrong). Well, im a true beliver in Karma and everyman has their day!!! How you could deal with this whole story without a coronary is beyond me. God bless you all.

wow, to think a simple dream about MH would bring to me know all of this.

Tanya

[Tina Hutchence]

I am sure that Bob has convinced himself that it was the right thing to do because he wanted it. I think the judge should have made the decision based on what both parents would want, and what would be best for the child. Anyone understanding the history would know that Michael would NOT want his little daughter raised by Bob. I am very angry that this was not taken into consideration.

I can't imagine this happening in the USA. I was told that judges are against allowing a child to go out of the country - but she is an Australian citizen too. Some day I will have Ricky post the letter I sent to the British judge who was to make the decision.
The fact is, it is hard to come up against a man of Bob's stature - his name doesn't mean much over here, but in the uk he seems to be important.
T.

[angeleyes]

I went through a tough custody situation with my husband's 2 kids from his first marriage. It was hell for six years with the court system completely ignoring what was best for the children. As the children got older, they refused to go back to their mom after staying with us. At the ages of 9 and 12, the court listened to them and they've been with us for 4 years now.

Tiger will eventually want to feel more connected to her father, and the older she gets, the more persistent she will become.

Tina, when you do see her, just remind her how much her father loved her without any negativity toward Bob and their mother. (Basically, keep your feelings to yourself) Tiger will know, in time, who truly loves her and where she belongs.

[Tina Hutchence]

I couldn't agree more Angeleyes. I understand child custody very well. I understand that you put your own feelings about the guardian aside. The child should never be exposed to nastiness between relatives, or in Bob's case, a guardian and the relatives.

Tiger only receives happy, loving, letters, cards and telephone calls from us. The conversation revolves around her activities; stories about the children in the family; and loving stories about her parents.

Tina

[angeleyes]

Tina,

Tiger is lucky to have you in her life. Best of luck to you and your family. You're always in my thoughts and prayers.

[hutch4eva]

Ugh, this makes me so upset. It's amazing how undeserving people make custody issues out to be about them instead of the child-the real victim. My husband has to fight hard and pay money going to court to be able to enforce visitation (which the judge granted in his divorce)because his evil ex-wife keeps the kids from us when she wants to because she's angry or whatever...the children are used as weapons against their father and a way to keep the child support coming and when she's not up to tolerating them, puts them out (little children) by calling us to come and get them. YET, my husband has to go through this long drawn out procedure to ensure his children's safety and welfare. Child Services can't do anything unless you get a lawyer and pay 3 thousand to start the process. Who's caring about the kids??? My husband's kids (8 and 10) know in their hearts what's going on and they sometimes ask, "how old do you have to be to decide where you want to live...?" Children are smart and know real love when they receive it. We never bad talk their mother. They know the difference. Tiger will know as well. I don't know this child but I often think of her and pray for her emotional well-being. She blessed to be so loved by her father's family.

Sonya

[no1hutchfan]

I am reading Just a Man in 2011, eleven years after Paula's death. I wonder, this many years later, what Tina believes was Bob's motivation for claiming guardianship over Tiger. With the clarity and experience that time provides, does Tina now believe that Bob's motives were pure of heart, that is, to give Tiger the opportunity to grow up with her half-sisters or unpure, e.g., to spite Michael, Paula, or some other less than honorable motive.

Today, is the interaction with Bob civil and cooperative? Does Tina have peace that Tiger has been well-cared for and has grown up in a loving and healthy family? Is Tina still able to communicate with Tiger regularly? Does Tiger ask Tina questions about Michael?

[mkhdiehard]

Not having first hand knowledge of all the facts - it has always been difficult for me to understand why the entire Hutchence family was not able to work on one accord and fight together to win the custody of Tiger. Like most family's I suppose, everyone had their own "truth" and so it was probably difficult for everyone to see things eye to eye...not sure it would have made a difference in this case tho with the weight Geldof was able to throw about.

Interesting Topic - this goes back a ways...

I have never read Tina's book. I felt it fitting under the circumstances that there were some things I was better not knowing at that time; However, with all I have currently read since then, Kelland was against Tina receiving custody of Tiger and expressed himself venomously to that extent.

It absolutely sucks that everything turned out the way it did for Tiger. It hardly seems possible that it did end up the way it did...

IMHO - there is no one in their right mind that would try to keep a child away from blood relatives that wanted nothing more than to love and nurture that child. It's deplorable. It's even more deplorable that people actually see this as being OK? What is wrong with a society that that would even be an issue open for discussion? I will never understand it as long as I live.

Tiger was then and is now a bonified Hutchence - Her rightful place was with the Hutchence family. I do commend the Hutchence family for acting with such class in the face of Geldof and his egotistical selfishness.

As far as Geldof being a philanthropist? HA! That's such a pitiful joke! If he was truly - he could never have done what he did to that child and her family.