Just A Man (Chapter 13)

[Rickyrocks]

Hi

This section is for your questions and thoughts about CHAPTER 13 of the JAM online feature.

Each chapter will be divided into its own chapter so as to make it easier to post & talk about each chapter seperately.

Thank You
Rickyrocks

[sharon]

This was a very painful chapter to read. My first impression on reading this is that I just felt Michael was so disrespected. Not by Tina or his mother but by everyone else. What was going on? What is with all of the secrets? Everyone in his life just seemed so dishonest or quilty of something. Again, I don't know what he saw in Paula at all. I agree with Kell that she belonged in the gutter, especially the way she was acting. He was so exploited in life and especially in death. I just read the chapter and it has to sink in but I have to say reading this really made me angry. Michael's family was treated like stangers. I feel that Martha, Colin, and all of his business associates knew Michael was not well and exploited the "s**t" out of him and they were trying to cover their tracks and keep as much information away from his family as possible.

Is it true that Paula wrote books on parenting? And she was breastfeeding and popping pills? No wonder poor Tiger was having seizures. What a pig! I am sorry for Tiger!

Sharon

[Aussie]

A very sad chapter to have read. I cried when i read how tina sat with michael in the morgue and stroked his head and wanted him to wake up . I can only imagine how hard it was for her and the whole family. I still can remember watching the funeral , live on tv here, and how moving it was when Tina and rhett spoke about Michael, and Andrew also. I thank them for letting us, the fans be apart of that service, when it should of been a private family affair.

I really dont know what else to say about this chapter without getting upset about the Colin Diamond scenario. He didnt even bother to come to michaels funeral, that shows what kind of person he was as well. But i wont get started on that!

AUssie

[Shannon]

This chapter brought tears to my eyes. My heart goes out to Michael's family. Especially his mom and Tina. From reading the previous chapters, I feel like Michael would of been highly upset with all of the drama that went on within the family.

I am glad that Tina wrote about how peaceful he looked. Not that it makes everything ok, but sometimes it helps. Because I always wondered if that was the case, for some reason I thought he would of looked bloated. I feel better knowing that he looked peaceful. Andrews comment about his mother being with Michael was very touching also.

And I thought maybe it was just me, but I saw tabloid pictures of how Paula was dressed and how she had Tiger dressed. I always thought of that as very weird. Now I understand...she wanted full attention.

[Michael Always]

sharon said:

Is it true that Paula wrote books on parenting? And she was breastfeeding and popping pills?

Scary isn't it? To think that anyone would take advice from her is unbelievable to me.

[sharon]

Colin Diamond is a mobster or something. I don't understand al of the power he has but that is another story. I have a question for anyone to explain, expecially Tina. What confuses me more than anything while reading this book is on one hand it seems like Michael wanted to part with Paula and was trying to go on with his life with this other woman or who knows who else. But on the other hand, the fight over the phone with Bob saying that he was now the father of his children and not Bob and the fact that he was so worked up about Paula all of the time confuses me. It seemed like he could not tear himself away from her. Was is just because of Tiger or do you think he was in love with her, maybe did he just feel compelled to take care of her or was is because she was treatening him? Most men, even married, would just divorce and say "f**k off"! Was is the visitation. I know it seemed like he was trying to move on with Blair but I love Michael always and forever but he was kind've a womanizer. Was he just screwing around with Blair and in love with Paula or the other way around. Maybe he was just to weak and worn down to deal with the break up. I don't know. Any comments?

My other question regarding this Chaper was what was up with Kell? From what I have read in the past, seen on TV, and his memorial site he just seemed crazy about Michael and devasted completely by his death. But I have to admit this chapter made him look as if everyone really hated him. I just sensed a lot of sarcasim where he was concerned. I know the death of a child brings out the worse in parents. Maybe that was just it.

Sharon

[charlesex]

hi sharon (and everybody else, i am new here.)
i don't know what is up with kell. but with paula, my guess is that michael just couldn't bring himself to commit to anybody. i don't think he was in love with paula, certainly not the nasty, strung-out-on-drugs version. i think it may have to do with the fact paula was threatening him. or the fact that she was the mother of the only child he ever had. i don't think he was in love with "blair" either. he just wanted to have some fun with somebody who was not such a mess, like paula was.

by the way, for anybody who is reading this: i hear that there will soon be a download of the funeral available. trouble is, i can't download anything, as my speakers don't work (not to mention the fact that i have had virus problems in the past.)

so, could anybody get me a vhs or dvd copy of the funeral? pretty please? i can pay you for it. (and no, i am not a tabloid reporter or anything like that. i am a cashier at food lion. i just missed the funeral in 1997, and would very much like to see it.)

if anybody can be of service, i would greatly appreciate it. [e-mail]

[hutch4eva]

This chapter was a healing of sorts. I was reading this last week as I was at my desk at work. It became so real as I read Tina sitting with Michael and stroking his hair and wishing he would come back. It took more than seven years to get to the point of letting it all pour out. I sat there at my desk and covered my face crying. I had my back turned to others hoping I wouldn't get interrupted. It pains me to picture him lying there, but I'm glad I was able to read this because now he's finally at peace. Tina, thank you for your bravery and willingness to share your feelings.

**please read my second install on "The Fans" I'll submit it today**

You'll understand why Michael's death hurt me so bad. I know I'm just a longtime fan, but Michael Hutchence was very, very necessary to a lot of us out here. I only hope he knew that.

[Tina Hutchence]

Hi Sharon, Okay let me try this one step at a time.

Diamond: Well you know he presented himself as an international Barrister. Who is not going to believe and trust a lawyer with some connections who tells his young, busy, client that he can take care of everything? Most successful musicians don't have time, nor are they very interested in the practical side of the music industry....the money side. They get these huge checks in every 6 months for royalties alone and they are too busy touring, writing, doing interviews, creating and just trying to keep up with their life; to watch over their own money and pay the bills. There are many unscrupulous lawyers, accountants and businessmen who are only too happy to 'help' these busy people with their finances. Michael was trusting and who knows what Diamond told him, I only know what MIchael told us and up until the last two years he was comfortable with Diamond, but it was obvious from faxes and other paperwork that he was suspicious and concerned at that time. It seems that Michael did not know that Diamond had never actually practised as a Barrister. After our suit began, he actually had his licence revoked for some years.

Re Michael's feelings for Tiger's mother;
I think on one hand Michael had genuine feelings for PY but things change over time. He adored his daughter that is for sure. Anyone who knew him anyone who spoke with him at that time, knew this for a fact.
We will never know for sure what was said on the phone that night. Bob never made himself available for the local authorities -his lawyer gave a written statement. Though Michael and Paula had felt harrassed by Bob for over two years and Michael was under the impression that Bob was preventing Paula from bringing Tiger to Australia........when in fact Bob was stopping only his girls from leaving early. Paula could have left at any time.
When a man's child is living in a country which he does not reside, which is so far away and he knows that the mother is unstable, has the ear of the media, and has threatened him; I think that man is in a bad position. What does he do? It is a real dilema when that man really, truly, loves the child. MIchael was not one to run from his child, he was far to honorable and sensitive for that.

Re Kell: You may have sensed a sarcasm because at the time of writing we were very angry at the choices Dad had made. He had believed Diamond without even speaking to Patricia who incidently had met Diamond and had seen some disagreements between Michael and Diamond. Kell believed CD completely without even knowing him -because he was a lawyer, because he controlled Michael's business. He never asked Rhett or me, he just could not believe that someone in the legal profession would not adhere to his son's will and so made the decisions as many men do who were raised in that time and who see that men make the decisions. Like most of us we are trained to believe someone in this position.
For sure we were very angry with Kell, he had dismissed Mother and made decisions that should have been made by both parents, no matter what the relationship. I certainly would not like my daughter's father making that decision without me. It would be hard to forgive him. Mother has forgiven Kell. And he made a deposition for our attorney - albeit too late, but it did fill in some of the holes we had been confused about.
As I have said before, we smoothed over those ill feelings before he died.
tina

[grrlonfire]

Tina – I am so glad for you and for Patricia that you were able to mend that rift and experience forgiveness with Kell before he passed away. Some people, unfortunately, never approach the depth of those feelings in themselves that are needed for healing wounds and giving the gift of forgiveness – that is a blessing that many never experience and is so necessary. I’ve heard it said that “forgiveness” is the new “f” word. Sorry may be the hardest word – but “I forgive you” is a miraculous phrase. It goes a long way to giving us peace in our hearts and in our lives. Patricia is an amazing woman to have the grace and humility to find forgiveness in her heart…and you too.

As far as Paula and Michael are concerned…I think they had a mutual attraction to each other that they mistook for newfound love. Paula had designs on Michael and managed to take advantage of Michael’s vulnerability after his breakup with Helena. I think that through no real fault of their own…they tumbled wildly together into a freefall of sex and drugs and they basically gambled on the relationship… unfortunately they both lost. It happens to the best of people. It was the worst possible scenario because most men go through what is known as a mid-life-crisis, which most men play out badly, Michael had the entire world as his playground (most men make do with a lot less money and their own backyards-that’s not to say that women don’t have a crisis too)…Paula was a prime example. Both were bored/happy/fearful in their own lives and when they met it was fireworks they were looking for and fireworks what they got. Who know, maybe they would have been able to hold on to the good in each other and in the relationship had they not depended on drugs to cloud what they didn’t like, drugs are the ultimate escape hatch/booby trap. Unfortunately, Paula terrified of losing Michael, was willing to push that gamble to the extreme using Tiger as leverage. Again not uncommon, just not able to see clearly what was at stake.

The more I read about this story (I didn’t know most of it until recently not much reported here in the states or maybe I was just too deep in my own marital issues to notice) I couldn’t believe how much it sounded like a classic Greek tragedy…all the players and elements fitting together in just such a way to do damage…only so sad because they weren’t flat characters in a storybook – they were real flesh and blood people with lives and loves and feelings and children, family, friends and responsibilities that came together like a speeding freight train. In the end it left countless people heartbroken and choked with pain and guilt, riddled with unanswerable questions. Pick a Greek tragedy, any one and those same elements are present, maybe not the same scenarios, but the same themes. I get chills just thinking about how sad and ironic it all came to be. That is one thing the media just can’t capture, it can only tell the story – the three dimensional depth of humanity…that can’t come across because that is God given and only God can create it. That is why people in the media have become such a product…”celebrity” is the new merchandise for sale.

The thing that gets me the most – is that when I look back and read lyrics to the songs he wrote – it is almost like Michael could feel life…like he saw it coming before it all really happened. Some of the lyrics are so empathic. I don’t know if Michael always had depression – Tina your book mentions that he may have had it for some time before he sought treatment for it… but it’s distressing to think that he could have been helped much earlier if drinking and drugs hadn’t gotten there first and the distance of continents hadn’t helped matters.

I got such a lump in my throat when I saw Ms. Shaw’s artistry – she managed to capture some of his brilliance in her portraits…and the one of him as a little boy – his innocence.

I shudder to wonder how many wonderful, gifted, loving young people are out there with no creative outlet to free their souls…and drugs just waiting biding time. We need to show them they way to be creative without using those brain draining destructive chemicals. The 70s and 80s really unleashed this glamorized vision through the media of drugs being necessary to be creative and it may really be destroying our society. I hope that that falsehood will turn around some point soon. I hope one thing for the Michael Hutchence Foundation, that it do well to give those less fortunate the outlet to use their creative talent, but in a healthy way. Tina, may God Bless you that you have success with the Foundation and do good works with it. I know that would make Michael very proud and put the best side of his legacy forward into the future for his daughter Tiger to grow on.

Well, I think I’ve said enough.

Marlene

[love4evermichael]

In this chapter(The Funeral Service),I liked the little passage of when the Michael`s mother(Patricia) looked up at the sky and suddenly from out of nowhere,she saw two birds-doves accross the sky and forth in front of her bedroom window.She felt that they told her a message that Michael was at peace.How Beautiful it is !)Personaly,I believe in that fantastic kind of thing:)