Just A Man (Chapter 12)

[Rickyrocks]

Hi

This section is for your questions and thoughts about CHAPTER 12 of the JAM online feature.

Each chapter will be divided into its own chapter so as to make it easier to post & talk about each chapter seperately.

Thank You
Rickyrocks

[Tina Hutchence]

This was the toughest chapter to write and I had to relive it again and descend into the vortex this past weekend when I updated it for the site.

You may not enjoy reading it; but you will understand why he was on the edge. When we started putting up the book we had no idea that this chapter would coincide with the shows debut.

Tina

[Michael Always]

this is so tough to read and I can only imagine how much harder it was to live through and continue to relive it. My heart goes out to you and your family. We love you and Michael very much. Please know that. and thank you for being so candid and so brave.

love and hugs
Lilli

[Shannon]

This chapter leaves me heart broken and speechless. It was extremely hard to read and I can't imagine how hard it was to write.

I hate the fact that people were feeding him w/information just to get him upset. They took advantage of his state of mind. And Paula was just out right sneaky. That is not how you get someone to marry you or stay with you. She used his own child as a pawn.

I always imagined Michael as someone who was highly intelligent, very fun, and a happy go lucky person To think of the agony that he went through in that room on that morning...I don't know what else to say...

[sharon]

Reading this chapter leaves me completely heartbroken. I can't imagine how helpless Michael's family felt. Poor Michele. She has to live knowing she was the last person he talked to and wondering why he did not wait for her. I have talked about my brother in the past. He was married to a woman that I was friend's with for a long time. They divorced and we no longer talk but two days ago her brother committed suicide. Although I very much dislike her now I am heartbroken for her and her family. I would not wish this grief on my worst enemy. He was only about 34. He was also on Prozac at the time of his suicide and said he was only going upstairs to nap because he was tired. His wife found him dead. No note or anything. Just a mystery. It is so sad that this happens to so many people.

Sharon

[mishelle22]

Tina,
Just remember, I think everyone on this board has so much respect for you and your family. Especially here, what you do with this site.
You will be greatly rewarded, selflessly!
This was a very hard chapter, I never had a book make me laugh, cry, angry, etc.

Michelle

[caz]

This was a horrible time and for you to relive this over and over again, makes me want to get on a plane and give you one of my special CAZ hugs...you are in my thoughts now and always, but I think you know that

[blueorchid]

It seems that Michael, like in his other relationships he had already wanted to move on, didnt know how to tell her and already had a relationship developing. Whilst obviously he wouldnt be able to break from Paula.
Did Paula know about Blair? did anyone tell her?

and as far as the press are concerned, well they had already painted him the bad guy so what more could they do? admit a few things or begin to ask a few questions? that would mean more attention wouldnt it? something Michael didnt want.

As for marrying Paula I never thought that he would. There were other relationships that he had where he seemed more involved than he was with Paula. Until Paula had Tiger Lily. So Michael felt responsible for his child and respected Paula as her mother.
I dont understand why Paula couldnt have left London to go to Australia with Tiger either. I mean the girls would have been with their father. so why not.
for the sake of a few weeks.

I dont understand why Michael thought he was their father. this seemed unusual for him.

From the outset Paula was aware that the application to the court wasnt enough time for a decision, and yet she had gone ahead to book tickets and tell Michael they were on their way to join him. It was down to Bob.

I also thought that Paula would have seen all of these gestures as Michaels attempt to keep her as a partner, not as an attempt to help her financial independence or that she was just the mother of his child.
Given this I can understand that Michael was annoyed if he thought it was all down to Bob.
So the thing that then bothers me is why did Bob take offence when he knew Paula so well.

When he was away from the situation he was not angry with other people as he began to calm down. He was also under pressure with the band and forthcoming tour.

I wondered if he had been taking coke all night from the sounds of this, he had cocaine in his system (where it stays for approx. 48hrs). When he began to wind down and acknowledge his anger, he was overtired and depressed. adding to the helpless feelings of his depression.

As far as being naked at night? in Australia whether its winter or not, and you mention that Michael was a sensual guy. (which we know) if it werent for the AAE suggestions theres hardly a need to excuse someone sleeping in the nude. there was no-one else there, it wasnt on his mind due to drinking alcohol, taking illegal and prescription drugs, he was also long term depressed. maybe not clinically depressed but long term feelings of low self esteem and sadness.
When asking someone about depression the checklist usually states a loss of libido and insomnia which would also account for his mood swings.


I was worried about the unidentified pills? I thought maybe the nurofen and zovirax was for his previous accident? the loss of some taste and smell.
He must of felt like he had a terrible headache and an overwhelming sadness regardless of how long those feelings last. The alcohol and drugs would have confused him.
I am not surprised he had of felt that he had had enough.

My heart went out to Michele.

As for Tiger Lily having to learn of AAE, well that came from her mother soon after Michael's death.

There is a phrase from the Bible that says 'if this world is too much for you, I will take you back'. I personally take this to mean that you have to ask yourself this question. Some people dont get the chance to do this.
Therefore they are not to be blamed for having feelings and being upset.
It must take an awful lot to get to this destination and in a moment when someone has had enough it is too late to see another solution.

[charlesex]

quote: i don't understand why michael thought he was their father...

i think michael knew he was not their father. he was stressed, and people had told him that bob was the son of satan. he thought bob was the cause of all his problems. so, he was trying to upset bob and make him angry.

that's why when bob did not get upset, michael did. he was not making bob mad, and that frustrated michael.

am i making sense?

also, does anybody have a vhs or dvd copy of the funeral i could buy? i missed it in '97, and would love to see it. and i can't download it, because my speakers are broken (and i have virus problems.)

if anybody can help me out with this, please send me a pm or email me. thanx. [e-mail]

[sweettrouble]

I have only starting reading this chapter and have decided to stop. I noticed Tina used to post on this site. Tina if you do by chance stop by to read any of these posts, my heart goes out to you and your family. I hope time has healed some wounds. Its not just Michael's passing your family has had to deal with.

[Cathy]

I'm not an expert by any means, and memory fails me as well, but I thought Michelle was the one who left the note. I found so many discrepancies in Bozza's book, I find it hard that inxs released it as an "official" biography! Just sayin'....